Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Dealing with being a freak

So I'm feeling kind of pissed of at the moment. I don't want to be ultra-sensitive to chemicals! I want to be normal, like I used to be. I just met with a developer from my group to collaborate on a project. We had to meet in the cafeteria because I get sick when I'm in any of the main buildings at work. So far, the cafeteria is the only work building that I am safe in. The conversation went well, but an hour into the discussion I started feeling sick and congested, and I could smell the laundry detergent on his clothes very strongly. The longer I sat there, the stronger the smell got, and the harder it got to think. I made an excuse and ended our meeting after an hour and a half. Overall, it was a productive conversation, but it is so hard to work when I have MCS! It just adds so many more complications!! I can't go to my office, I can't attend meetings except by phone... it's such a pain.
Ok, I'm done with my rant. The truth is, I know I'm so lucky to work for a company that will allow me to work for home, and I'm so lucky that my MCS hasn't caused permanent damage to my body, and I'm so lucky that I can still work when most people with this condition can't. I have a great job and a nice home and a beautiful daughter. When I look at the big picture, I realize I still have so many things that are working out for me. Dealing with MCS is just adjusting to a new set of limitations, and learning how to live with them.
A note about reducing the prednisone dose: so far, my energy has stayed good, even though I'm on day 3 of taking the reduced dose. This morning I felt the effects of it for the first time - it was hard to get out of bed despite adequate rest (10 hours!). I'll give this three more days to see if my body adjusts. I think it can.

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